We score an exclusive interview with the Olympic torch

While thousands of San Franciscans were disappointed to miss the Olympic torch relay last week, SF Weekly managed to catch up with the torch — or Flame, as the aspiring rapper is known to his friends — at SFO before getting on the plane for Buenos Aires and listening to Jay-Z on his iPod.

SF Weekly: When did you find out the route had been changed?

Flame: When did I find out? I was the one who came up with the idea, yo. I was like, "I am not gonna let all those nasty Dalai Lama–lovin' fools get all up in my shit." Hey, I don't know where Richard Gere's hand has been, know what I'm sayin'? And did you see what the Brits did to me? A no-shower-takin' motherfucka just ran up and tried to snuff me out! I wasn't gonna put up with that shit again, ya feel me?

SF Weekly: So it was your idea to hide out in the warehouse after the opening ceremony?

Flame: Yup. They took me over there and I just chilled while they ran the other torch around. After a little bit, who do I see? My boy Gavin. He walks on up to me with this big ol' stoopid grin and reaches in his suit pocket. Boy pulls out a Swisher blunt! Gavin may have stopped drinkin', but he still smokes up. He's on that — whatcha call it — oh yeah, the "marijuana maintenance program." Let me tell you, your mayor knows how to score some stinky ol' buds. That shit had me lit up!

SF Weekly: So to speak (cough). Anyway, how do you feel about China's treatment of Tibet?

Flame: Frankly, I think they've been way too nice. Every time I look up, there's the Dalai Lama hangin' out with some movie star and not his bald homeboys. Dude must have a million frequent-flyer miles. But I gotta say: Mr. Lama, get yourself some new duds. Those colored robes is bright, but the look is old as a prophet.

SF Weekly: What's next for you — I mean, what do you do after the Olympics?

Flame: Well, I'm very musical, ya feel me? Got me a little crew, All Torched Up; might tour some. Thinkin' about startin' my own label, know what I'm sayin'? If that doesn't work out, I also make some amazing aromatherapy candles I could sell on eBay. But we mogul-in' up in the meantime, feel me? Keep it real, Frisco. We out — but not extinguished.